My Breastfeeding Journey- 6 Months In

PLEASE PLEASE READ BECAUSE I KNOW I AM NOT ALONE 🙏🏽

Where do I even begin?! A few hours after birthing Juno I was quickly asked to put him on the boob. The both of us stayed there for 20 mins not knowing what we were doing IN AN EMPTY ROOM WITH 0 support from my midwives. BUT I WAS TOO AFRAID TO ASK FOR THE HELP AS A FIRST TIME MOTHER. In the fear they would think that I was absolutely shit at my job already. So I did the next best thing. I SPENT HOURS TRYING AND CRYING and asking for extra help ( got told off for that because they were really busy in the ward) and finally gave in, to the bottle because I couldn’t keep him waiting for food any longer 😩😩😩
Just writing this is bringing tears to my eyes.

Long story short, I went through a week of staying in the hospital because they thought I wasn’t getting the hang of it all along I had them saying LOOK JUST BOTTLE FEED HIM. Emotionally drained, physically shagged and mentally guilty + feeling like a failure I just hated the word breastfeeding let alone the whole activity. So I’m not gonna lie when I say I FEEL LIKE I ROBBED JUNO OF BEING BREASTFED.

So naturally when Agni was born, and they handed her to me; the same feelings came rushing in like a storm.

BUT THIS TIME I DID NOT HESITATE IN ASKING FOR HELP. And when she latched straight away, I thanked every super power there was in the universe from my gut! The help I had from my midwives was incredible and I can’t thank them enough for BEING GENTLE WITH ME, FOR ENCOURAGING ME TO TAKE MY TIME AND FOR JUST SITTING WITH ME TILL I WAS CONFIDENT THAT BOTH AGNI & I WERE HAPPY 💚
BECAUSE TODAY THIS IS SOMETHING I LOVE DOING WITH AGNI! I am so glad I pursued asking for help relentlessly.
So if you are going through something similar please please please reach out and ask for help whatever it is

AND DO NOT LET ANYONE CRITIQUE YOU FOR BOTTLE FEEDING YOUR BABY TOO. And to those that criticise Mother’s for not breastfeeding DONT BE A DICK!